English 101. Im gonna get flamed for this one

by **S U IVI O** Sun Mar 01, 2009 10:31 pm

(For slow learners i put the meaning in parenthesis)Comments are between [...]
English 101

1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.
Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese fat. (she's fat [thick piece of meat])

2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom. (not much room [to many fat people in the car])

3. *Shoulder*
My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to read
So I shoulder. (so I showed her [let her learn to read first])

4. * Texas *
My fren always Texas me when I'm not home wondering where I'm at! (sends text messages [What an asshole, why doesn't he just call.])

5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes. (her piece [Your lucky she gave you piece?] )

6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer! (you lied to me! You liar [didn't tell the truth you bastard])

7. *Rectum*
I had two cars but my wife rectum! (wrecked them [Asshole, women are bad drivers])

8. *Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself. (she can go by herself [What, she to ugly or fat to walk with?Ashamed of your wife? Why the F#*? you married her then?])

9. *Wheelchair*
We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair. (we'll share [she'll get a piece, but will you?])

10. *Chicken* *wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing. (so she can win [Stupid ass!The B@#$* is hooked on gambling])

11. *Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her
Honey harassment nothing to me. (her ass meant nothing [yeah, what about her pussy and tits. Nor does your wife])

12. *Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop. (pick the B@#$* up [ after you pushed her you mean])

13. *Body wash*
I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids. (nobody watch my kids[no baby sitter. What about their mother, is she out gambling again!!])

14. *Budweiser*
That woman over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly? (but why is her face so ugly [Whaaaat? It's the pussy your after, not the face. Use your underwear, she probably uses a thong])